When Strangers take your baby...

I have to give up my baby to a stranger!

This will be the hardest thing I have ever done. We went to look at daycare this week and to line something up for April, when I go back to work. I asked all the right questions and they gave me all the right answers. And I think Inarú will be fine and I will be the one who will be all upset. And they might be strangers now, but I think eventually they will become Inarú's extended family.

We decided to go with group daycare rather than a nanny or a home daycare. We feel 1) they have to meet more stringent guidelines 2) there's more supervision in a group daycare 3) we needed something closer to our jobs. The one we decided on is very close to where I work, less than 5 minutes by car, so I can drop in on her and continue some breastfeeding sessions if I want to. It has its own playground, and it's a standalone building so there's plenty of parking. We definitely got a good vibe when we walked in, better than any of the other ones. The teachers are from all over the world, all mature women. They are very flexible about partial weeks (MWF) and about taking her out for several weeks for vacation, such as when grandma comes and wants to take care of her. So this is them.

Since Adal has such a wonderful schedule this semester, he can take care of her Tuesdays and Thursdays. At least until beginning of June.

So what's the problem? Well, it's all the guilt because MY mom didn't work. She was always there for us and the idea of leaving me with somebody much less a stranger for 5 days of the week was not an option. And having enjoyed my mom being at home, well, I feel like I'm stealing someting from Inarú. Like I'm pawning her off. That is not the case though. I would love to stay with Inarú at home every day and sing and play and feed her and take photos of her all day. So soon I will only be able to enjoy her evenings where I'll be tired from a long day of work and weekends where I have to catch up with things like food shopping and laundry. I think I'm starting to understand why parents talk about "quality time".

I'm going to miss her so much! And she probably won't even miss me...